Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Are you a good candidate for a hospital birth?

Must not be scared of needles.

Must not be claustrophobic or uncomfortable in confined spaces.

Must be able to go for long periods of time without eating or drinking.

Must be happy to share a bathroom with others.

Must enjoy sleeping on a mattress covered with plastic.

Must not have a rebellious or questioning nature.

Must accept the possibility of contracting antibiotic-resistant infections.

Must be confident with caregivers who are overtired and overworked.

Must realize that a limited amount of time can be spent in a hospital room before it is needed for the next patient.

Must like and trust electronic equipment.

Must be comfortable with cesarean rate of 30%.

Must accept that the mood of the nurse on duty will be a large determinant of the birth outcome.

Must realize that someone you have never met before will likely receive your baby.

Must realize that the written birth plan will be ignored.

Must be willing to have fluorescent lights turned on at all hours.

Must be capable of birthing without making loud noises.

Must look good in a flimsy blue gown that is open up the back.

Must be willing to be a teaching subject for student doctors who are learning to do pelvic exams, surgeries, and suturing.

www.glorialemay.com